Gratitude is a powerful weapon for navigating change, overcoming setbacks, meeting the needs of others, and standing firm against the enemy. It's also an amazing cure for Entitlement, Expectation, and Envy and a key tool for becoming more successful in all areas of life, including marriage.  I dedicate this year to living a life of gratitude in an effort to remind us all of the role thankfulness plays in our lives and the positive impact it can have on our marriage.

Once upon a time in a land far away, the Queen of Entitlement and Expectation (you can throw Envy in that title, too!) was alive and well.  That Queen was me!  When things didn’t go my way, I became frustrated and impatient, treating people (including my husband) unkindly in the process.  I called bank tellers idiots when they asked for my account number the second time.  I berated customer service representatives for putting me on hold longer than five minutes.  I accused the dry cleaning clerk of sheer stupidity when the spaghetti stain remained evident on my pale pink blouse.  I dismissed good friends for not dropping everything to accommodate my needs and then complained about them to anyone who would listen.  I spent years harboring resentments and excelled in whining and complaining at my husband. I had become a disgruntled human being and stomped through life intolerant of mistakes, screaming “Off with their heads!”  As a result, I was ineffective in many areas of my life.

Zig Ziglar once said, “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”  Ziglar was right.  Research conducted in the last ten years successfully links positive emotions (including gratitude) to the ability to more successfully face life’s challenges.  Here are some of the documented benefits:

Improved health:

• Fewer health problems and illnesses
• Reduced stress and fewer heart attacks
• Increased energy and a stronger immune system
• Improved sleep patterns and feelings of restfulness
• Elevated vitality and increased longevity

Improved outlook:

• Improved mental clarity and alertness
• Increased optimism about the future
• Heightened intuitive insight and resourcefulness
• Increased creativity and cognitive flexibility
• Innovative problem solving

Improved relationships:

• Higher levels of self-esteem and self confidence
• Anticipated happiness and joy
• Increased connectedness with others and feelings of deep fulfillment
• Increased generosity and helpfulness to others
• Broader acceptance and the ability to influence others

Thankfully, the Queen reigns no more. After years of intentionally developing gratitude myself, I now appreciate when bank tellers ask for my account number a second time and consider it an added measure of security.  I am grateful for the customer service representative who can solve my problem over the phone, no matter how long I have to wait on hold.  I am satisfied with the dry-cleaner’s effort to remove most of the evidence of my clumsiness with food.  I am grateful for the love and grace my friends have shown me over the years and I understand the value of those relationships.  I appreciate and thank my husband for all of the ways he makes my life better. 

In fact, I look for and celebrate those things I have to be grateful for on a daily basis, and I have discovered a number of exercises to help me along the way (all of which are outlined in my guidebook, A Dozen and One Easy Exercises for Developing and Maintaining Gratitude).  I have trained my mind to see the glass as half full and while my life circumstances may be less than ideal, my outlook is no longer dreary.  I have successfully developed a thankful heart in my effort to appreciate my lot in life by overcoming entitlement, expectation, and envy and my life (including my marriage) has never been better!

Join me each month and I will share with you an exercise that works for me in my effort to maintain gratitude toward my husband.  May we all pray continually, rejoice always, and give thanks in all circumstances.

Cheers!




ABOUT KRISTEN CLARK:
Kristen Clark is the founder of His Witness Ministries and New Beginnings Marriage Ministry. In addition, Kristen writes articles on marriage and relationships for various online forums and print magazines, and her inspirational short stories have been published by Chicken Soup for the Soul. She lives in Houston Texas with her husband, Lawrence.

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